im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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