Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
