Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
