How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
