dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
