shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
