So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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