Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
