like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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