When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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