the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
