I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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