Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
