I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
