Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
