he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
