Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
