And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
