i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
