Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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