Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Duck Duck Cougar?
Do vagina's smell?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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