Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
