my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
