he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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