Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
