A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
