She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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