I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
