New invention idea: vibrating tampons
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize