Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
