So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
