Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
