How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
