OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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