How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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