after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
