I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
