im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
