she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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