she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
