Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
