Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You're a waste of cheezeits
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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