He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
