I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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