maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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