I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
