Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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