he shaved USA in his pubs
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
