she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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