They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
