i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
