id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
