oh god the rape fog is back!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
