me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
