Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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