coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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