i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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