I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
