you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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