The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize