i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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