So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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