I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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