i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
