Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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