Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
