its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
