I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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