i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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