Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize