My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
