OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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