OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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