the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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