I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
